Cryptonews Exclusives

Elon Musking, Paxful Closing, Banks Cryptoing, Fraudsters Scamming and 20 Crypto Jokes

Community Humor

Last updated:

October 23, 2023 07:14 EDT

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

About Author

Sead specializes in writing factual and informative articles to help the public navigate the ever-changing world of crypto. He has extensive experience in the blockchain industry, where he has served...

Author Profile

Last updated:

October 23, 2023 07:14 EDT

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This week in crypto: Elon Musk tweeted about Dogecoin causing it to pump a staggering +35%, and we checked if it’s too late to buy DOGE. We looked into Ethereum price predictions as the Shanghai upgrade approaches, while CoinShares found that investors continued buying Bitcoin, and Coinbase found that crypto could save Americans billions in remittance fees every year. MicroStrategy’s $30m Bitcoin acquisition catapulted its crypto wealth into the billions, Fabian Vogelsteller aimed to establish an all-encompassing ecosystem for creative professionals with LUKSO, while LayerZero Labs raised $120m, valuing the firm at $3 billion.

But then, Paxful shocked the Cryptoverse when it said it would be suspending its marketplace, Binance lost 16% of the market share since ending its zero fees on BTC pairs and the CFTC lawsuit, Binance CEO denied allegations that he received an Interpol Red Notice seeking to locate and arrest him, and a US judge ordered Binance.US’ acquisition of Voyager Digital to halt pending a government appeal. Justin Sun denied claims that he was considering divesting his stake in Huobi, but Binance reportedly rejected Sun’s offer to buy his stake in Huobi citing ties to mainland China. Meanwhile, M11 Credit resumed crypto lending on Maple Finance.

As all this was happening, PostFinance partnered with Sygnum Bank to offer its customers crypto trading and storage services, S&P Global was on the hunt for a DeFi director to oversee its expansion into this sector, SEB and Crédit Agricole CIB jointly launched the blockchain-based platform so|bond, and a New York Finance regulator clarified that the Signature Bank shutdown was unrelated to crypto activities.

Citizens in Nanjing, China, opened more than 310,000 personal digital yuan wallets with other cities posting similar statistics, Russian central bank said that citizens are spending more per household on crypto than gold, the UK companies took their grievances directly to the government amid increasing banking restrictions, the ongoing regulatory crackdown on crypto in the US could boost Hong Kong in its bid to become a new crypto hub, and Singapore officials were collaborating with local banks to develop uniform standards for evaluating crypto customers.

In South Korea, the police raided a plastic surgery clinic in connection with a suspected crypto-motivated kidnap and murder, the country was under attack from NFT scammers who pose as bona fide project operators, and the authorities confirmed that they asked Binance to freeze Terra co-founder Daniel Shin’s crypto. In the US, the DOJ seized crypto worth more than $112 million linked to several crypto-related scams.

Kaspersky warned of hackers using corrupted software to attack crypto firms with “surgical precision”, InformZashitae found a “significant” rise in the number of fraudulent crypto exchanges targeting Russian-speaking crypto traders, and a Canadian explained how he was duped out of almost $205,000 worth of tokens in an elaborate crypto scam.

And now – their royal majesties, the jokes.

__________

Goood morning, CT! What’s up?

$BTC: drops $100
CT:
pic.twitter.com/ZOseFFoadw
— Adrian Zduńczyk, CMT (@crypto_birb) April 2, 2023

Scientifically proven.

Bond. Who’s Bond?

So close.

All good.

Always leave ’em confused.

Here’s your poem for this week.

Buy
Market moves towards target
Stalls
“Almost there.”
Comes back to your entry
“Retest.”
Market moves against you
“Please pump so I exit at break even.”
Pumps
“Never mind, I’m a genius. Send it.”
Stop to break even
Market spikes your stop
Teleports to original target

GM
— Cred (@CryptoCred) March 26, 2023

Spot the hodlers.

Bull song for summoning the bull.

“One of the deadliest animals in nature, half a ton in weight, a terrible ornamental, indomitable character, power, muscle, speed, and genius.

A goring thrust of 4,000 kilos, capable of twisting a steel door, destroying a vehicle, and sending your net worth straight to new ATHs” pic.twitter.com/P6suWXzn5j
— Angelo฿TC (@AngeloBTC) February 20, 2023

Which one?

Source: dailycryptomemes4313 / Instagram

Yes.

Brilliant.

People investing while in credit card debt pic.twitter.com/BWsiULQ7Jx
— Finance Philosopher 🖌 (@FinPhilosopher) April 2, 2023

Gotta dress accordingly.

‘Also crying for once falling to it myself….’

Just relax, what’s the problem?

Such precision.

Always knows when (not) to show up.

A classic.

A clearing of the throat is mandatory.

"What do you do for a living?"

* Clears throat *

"I'm a sophisticated actor in the financial markets space." pic.twitter.com/BoFlT9gpiZ
— Hsaka (@HsakaTrades) April 2, 2023

Wen dis?