Cryptonews Exclusives

Useful Ambiguity, UnMixed Binance, Repealed Bail and 20 Crypto Jokes

Community Humor

Last updated:

October 23, 2023 06:37 EDT

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

About Author

Sead specializes in writing factual and informative articles to help the public navigate the ever-changing world of crypto. He has extensive experience in the blockchain industry, where he has served...

Author Profile

Last updated:

October 23, 2023 06:37 EDT

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This week in crypto: Mastercard’s EVP said crypto and blockchain can bring much more value to financial industries, a former BNY Mellon exec argued that ambiguity may be useful in crypto cybersecurity, Ripple CEO announced a plan to utilize $1bn cash reserves for company expansion, and Elon Musk said he wasn’t advising anyone to buy DOGE. US President Joe Biden blasted wealthy tax cheats and crypto traders, calling them undeserving beneficiaries of Republican lawmakers’ pro-crypto deals on the new budget.

Then, Reuters reported that Binance mixed company revenues with customer funds in the US, the exchange denied the claims, and Reuters said it stood by its reporting. Coinbase called on a court to issue a “writ of mandamus” telling the US SEC to respond to its rulemaking petition within seven days, and the exchange launched a crypto TV campaign in Washington DC. Bitget restricted the use of AI tools following troubling results and negative user experiences, while BlockFi took back earlier statements about a plan to reorganize which it said was done “prematurely.” Unciphered claimed to have successfully hacked into a Trezor T wallet, and ConsenSys denied allegations that MetaMask collected taxes from users.

In South Korea, the Prosecutor-General promised a “thorough review” of the crypto sector amid rising “public suspicion” about politicians and their crypto holdings, the government drafted an amendment that would require public officials to disclose their crypto holdings, and the prosecution service said it would buy new blockchain analytics software to catch people laundering crypto overseas. The US IRS will deploy experts to four continents to combat cybercrime with a focus on crypto, the Japanese government approved the adoption of the Travel Rule, Ukraine’s anti-corruption bureau said it was probing the crypto sector to unmask money launderers, and the IOSCO contributed to the crypto regulation discussion by releasing its own batch of crypto-focused policy recommendations. Meanwhile, financial service providers in China will allow citizens to pay for wealth products using the digital yuan.

As all the above was happening, a court in Montenegro repealed a lower court’s decision to release Do Kwon on bail after the prosecutors had submitted an appeal, Shaquille O’Neal was finally served legal papers related to FTX and an NFT project, and the US CFTC charged five people for “fraudulently soliciting” money from more than 170 people to trade crypto for them, while the US DOJ indicted a Russian man for his alleged participation in several ransomware schemes and a US man for his role in the multi-million-dollar CoinDeal investment scheme. In Malaysia, the Securities Commission ordered Huobi to stop operations, and the police swooped on what they suspected to be an illegal, international USDT-powered crypto exchange. Meanwhile, Elliptic found that Chinese chemical producers selling fentanyl ingredients received more than $27m in crypto payments, while a scam-as-a-service company siphoned off some $6m worth of crypto from unsuspecting users.

Jokes time!

__________

Gooood morning, CT!

GMeme

Today will be a quiet day. pic.twitter.com/2PY4us8I1g
— Charlie (@btc_charlie) May 19, 2023

Let’s start with some gatekeeping, shall we? 90s kids don’t know what this is.

Most #Bitcoin maxis know what these rocks are?
Do you? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/FbO8V9VRzD
— The Bitcoin⚡️Energy Standard (@romoolo) May 21, 2023

Seriously, where are we and what’s happening?

https://www.twitter.com/0xfoobar/status/1660130593869377536

Why would you blink? Why?

2023 alt season pic.twitter.com/UbalwAd4DJ
— Cryptofungus (@Cryptofung) April 21, 2023

Now Scream: Hooodl!

Wise words.

Rich yet? Lambo soon?

Soon, lady!

https://www.twitter.com/_cryptoweb3_/status/1659079486250311680

Aaaand discuss.

Here’s a bounce for you.

“I’m just playing BTC for a bounce”

The bounce: pic.twitter.com/gBbEtJbLAf
— rwlk (@sherlock_hodles) May 24, 2023

I’ll take all the dips. Thaaank you.

me buying the dips this morning

pic.twitter.com/AJNwdAJRFT
— LilMoonLambo (@LilMoonLambo) May 25, 2023

May it RIP. Bit-amen.

RIP fiat. #Bitcoin pic.twitter.com/PuuPacgdSv
— FractalEncrypt ∞/21M (@FractalEncrypt) May 18, 2023

‘Sooo, we’ve done a little bit of an oopsie. Again.’

‘I know I put them somewhere safe where only I’d find them though.’

Packing for the show.

Got to have all the essentials pic.twitter.com/Hj3dWwzGlg
— Rager (@Rager) May 19, 2023

And we’re live.

Live look at bitcoiners fighting about wizards https://t.co/NhD0Y1zSlY
— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) May 25, 2023

Look what you’ve done!

This makes me want to throw my #Bitcoin away and get into residential real estate. https://t.co/BrvursWZs5
— ⚠️ BitcoinBekka is 80 IQer ⚠️ (@GhostOfBekka) May 21, 2023

By 2030, all weddings will be crypto weddings.