Shedding Whales, Trending Panteras, Mining Moles and 20 Crypto Jokes
This week in the Cryptoworld: Olympus shed 35% in price and USD 474m in market capitalization as a whale dumped the coin, and Polygon implemented EIP-1559, while Crypto.com suspended withdrawals due to ‘unauthorized activity’, after which they said that no customer funds were lost, as an auditor claimed that USD 15m was stolen from the company. Then CRO jumped as Crypto.com revealed USD 34m had been lost and clients reimbursed. Meanwhile, Multichain losses have reportedly exceeded USD 3m while critical vulnerabilities remain unsolved. Also, the abandoned TON may be coming to Telegram after all but in a different form. In NFT news, Twitter introduced verified NFT profile pics, OpenSea acquired Dharma Labs, and Mastercard partnered with Coinbase, DappRadar found that NFTs and games are not correlated to crypto, while Fendi and Ledger joined hands in fashion, and Animoca Brands hit USD 5bn valuation as Winklevoss brothers and Soros joined the USD 359m investment round.
Establishing the BitMEX group in the DACH region, BXM Operations AG plans to purchase German bank Bankhaus von der Heydt, Microsoft announced plans to acquire Activision Blizzard for USD 68.7bn, Andreessen Horowitz is eyeing USD 4.5bn for new crypto funds, LinkedIn said that crypto-related job postings skyrocketed in 2021, a ‘flurry’ of Walmart patents suggests its willingness to embrace crypto, NFTs and the metaverse, the first 1,000 Robinhood customers got their crypto wallets, Opera unveiled its ‘Crypto Browser Project’ with a built-in non-custodial wallet, and MicroStrategy said it’s only buying and HODLing BTC. We also took a look at the top crypto trends to watch in 2022 according to Pantera’s Paul Veradittakit.
In South Korea, regulators are set to test the four biggest crypto exchanges’ AML capabilities, both main presidential candidates unveiled pro-crypto manifestos, and they pledged to lower crypto taxes and end the ICO ban. Over 20m people have downloaded the digital yuan app, Chinese media claim, while the central bank said that over 261m users activated the wallets by the end of 2021. The US Fed wants answers to 22 questions about the digital dollar, a top Russian policymaker has insisted that crypto users in the country should be unmasked, and anti-Nayib-Bukele Salvadorans ‘clashed’ with the supporters of the crypto-keen-leader in a Los Angeles park. Meanwhile Reuters claimed that Binance had withheld information from regulators, while Arthur Hayes’ ‘coconut bribery comment’ got blocked by a judge.
In mining and banning news, the Russian central bank proposed a ban on crypto usage and mining. Bitcoin mining difficulty hit a new ATH, GRIID will be the first recipient of Intel’s “Bonanza Mine” chips, another solo miner won a life-changing sum of money, this time on Ethereum, and an EU financial regulator urged the union to ‘ban’ PoW crypto mining and force tokens into PoS. Meanwhile, a misleading memo for a US House hearing on Bitcoin and Ethereum mining included ‘basic errors’, while Michael Saylor argued that the total use of energy for Bitcoin mining is “inconsequential” and it’s “rapidly becoming more efficient”.
Now, jokes! Enjoy.
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Hiiiii, CT! How are you feeling this week?
https://www.twitter.com/ByzGeneral/status/1483427234522275845
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It’s all about the attitude.
https://www.twitter.com/sartoshi_nft/status/1483513363917377536
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Heey, you see! That’s some positive thinking.
Think there’s a real chance I might get my first facial hair by the time Bitcoin breaks out of this downtrend.
— Will (@WClementeIII) January 20, 2022
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Could you please pass the pepper too?
https://www.twitter.com/MoonOverlord/status/1484406959558344706
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And because time moves differently in the cryptoverse, we’re way past Gens Y and Z. Please meet Gen Š and Gen Ž.
When you’re new vs. when you’re going to HODL no matter what! #bitcoin pic.twitter.com/PYHQysNLSW
— AdRock (@BitcoinAdRock) January 12, 2022
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Draw a couple of lines and cross ‘em at some point, and add some green and red lines of various lengths – and voilà!
“Its easy” pic.twitter.com/OdSdT6SSH0
— panamax (@panamaXBT) January 19, 2022
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This is the classic, much-dreaded ‘we’ll talk when we get home’ look.

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What a curious creature, this ‘government’. Is it an intelligent life form?

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This is a real painkiller.
https://www.twitter.com/cobie/status/1484383138746978309
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Venezuelans be like, bitch pls, what inflation?
Perspective is everything #inflation pic.twitter.com/1cTqvsPoOt
— Alex Krüger (@krugermacro) January 19, 2022
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‘If you can touch it, it has value. Science.’
That’s it, @PeterSchiff was right. pic.twitter.com/XXPw70JQW6
— DETERMINISTIC OPTIMISM |NVK|⚡️🌞 (@nvk) January 17, 2022
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Also science?
Most people are nocoiners so math adds up
— R Ξ A P (@reaposhi) January 19, 2022
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El Presidente was always into the dips.
Oh wow pic.twitter.com/GKfdYdmYhZ
— F is for Fox (@rektcryptofox) January 21, 2022
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I feel like there’s a pre-mine discussion waiting to explode here.
You asked for it:
— Tomer Strolight (@TomerStrolight) January 19, 2022
Track the progress of your Pfizer synthetic womb embryo with an NFT on the blockchain. Your baby will be hatched fully vaccinated at the hatchery with an embedded microchip verifying compliance with all the latest mandates. Act now for Bonus social credit pts.
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From 0 onwards, there’s a fig for everybody.
no-fig buildoor pic.twitter.com/JW6R5IAHvE
— Gajesh (@gajeshnaik) January 17, 2022
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This week’s challenge: try explaining this conversation to your grandparents.
Where to invest in the anime school girl metaverse fund
— Darren Lau (@Darrenlautf) January 11, 2022
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Business idea: meta anger management therapy.
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The cycle of token.
https://www.twitter.com/DegenSpartan/status/1482960643682889731
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Let’s just turn the internet off.
If we keep dumping we’re downgrading from web 3 back to web 2.
— Mayne (@Tradermayne) January 21, 2022
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And lastly, your crypto movie for the weekend (based on true events).
Buy you fools!#Bitcoin pic.twitter.com/S9Imv3W5xO
— Guy Swann ⚡️| Activate Covenants (@TheGuySwann) November 29, 2021
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