Manipulations, Turns, Exchanges and 20 Crypto Jokes
Well, it was seven days of twists and turns, and we’re not necessarily talking about crypto prices. Tezos rallied on news from major exchanges, an analyst discussed why DOGE is doing better than most altcoins, and a report said that a single whale manipulated 2017 Bitcoin rally, though multiple industry players dismissed it. Roger Ver says Bitcoin Cash may be worth 99,900% more, Stellar price skyrocketed following the burn, and while Ripple's customer base went up 50%, the CEO believes there are too many cryptos and that a bull’s coming for the market, but XRP dropped among worst performers.
And as that was happening, Trezor denied links to Venezuela, the British government presented new crypto tax rulings; the EU finance ministers might discuss a new draft that advocates a common approach to cryptos; Russia’s crypto law took a confusing turn, but it might stop legal trading in BTC, ETH and other altcoins; China changed its opinion on BTC mining; and Hong Kong published a framework for crypto exchanges. In the meantime, North Korea is turning young talent into elite crypto hackers.
Among a number of exchange news, we learned that BitMEX found malicious groups trying to collect email addresses, DX.Exchange closed temporarily while waiting for a merger or sale, Bittrex and FTX are each facing a lawsuit, and users of Einstein Exchange and ezBtc.ca can’t access their funds. We’ve also learned why crypto business rushes to Turkey, that a law megafirm accepted its first crypto payment, and that there are blockchain-powered kettles and hairdryers.
And now, the jokes. Enjoy!
Let's start with a then-and-now comparison - crypto edition.
Parents breaking the news:— Tom Shaughnessy🦉 (@Shaughnessy119) 4 November 2019
2009: “kids we’re getting divorced”
2019: “kids, we’re decentralizing”
And the neighbours are clapping from their bedrooms too.
So, what's it like they ask...
Look, priorities are priorities.
so this is what the bitcoin whales have been doing these last 2 years pic.twitter.com/bLqMxdKc2Y— Randy Moish (@nondualrandy) 8 November 2019
Add a bit of the devil one, please.
A rare live footage in their natural surroundings?
Live shot of crypto twitter shilling each other their alt picks. https://t.co/mlKcj7u8lk— Nick Cote (@mBTCPizpie) 6 November 2019
The face of optimism.
But few are those who dare venture there.
When scroll beyond the top 100 on CoinMarketCap pic.twitter.com/ZKXlg2RniE— Tom Shaughnessy🦉 (@Shaughnessy119) 6 November 2019
I know it's among jokes, but I hope it's an actual joke.
They’re selling 18k watches that have a bitcoin hardwallet built in. I asked the sales guy - what happens when they steal your watch and get your bitcoin? His answer - “damn, we didn’t think of that.”— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) 29 October 2019
Is this supposed to make one depressed? Just me?
When you buy the bottom and sell the top. 🎯 pic.twitter.com/YCj2f4QGkI— Jacob Canfield (@JacobCanfield) 5 November 2019
For future generations to learn about.
The realisation is apparently very slimy.
There you go, simple and clear: "a guide to help people interpret the bitcoin price chart back to 2013".
Here's another type of interpretation.
Interesting how some try to turn everything into "this is good for bitcoin".— Alex Krüger (@krugermacro) 22 October 2019
Price pump = moon
Price crash = accumulate!l
ETF yes = herd is coming
ETF no = don't need them
Regulatory support = finally
Regulatory attacks = this is why bitcoin
Paid his dues. That's all he could pay.
Have you ever wondered what's it like for dogs?
How it feels to be a dog in CT. pic.twitter.com/eUs0IcMfWL— Panama ₿ (@Panama_TJ) 28 October 2019
And for pondering over weekend, here's how crypto and blockchain got into every part of our daily lives. Wait for it.