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ETFs Are Tots Coming, ETFs Are Not Coming, ETFs Are ETFing and 20 Crypto Jokes

Community Humor

Last updated:

January 5, 2024 03:40 EST

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

Journalist

Sead Fadilpašić

About Author

Sead specializes in writing factual and informative articles to help the public navigate the ever-changing world of crypto. He has extensive experience in the blockchain industry, where he has served...

Author Profile

Last updated:

January 5, 2024 03:40 EST

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This is your weekly digest of top crypto news from Cryptonews.com, followed by a collection of 20 hand-picked crypto jokes.

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This week in crypto: unsurprisingly, ETF discussions. While Tuttle Capital Management filed for six new Bitcoin ETFs with the US SEC, two of the issuers released details on the fees that they will charge investors for the ETF, and Glen Goodman argued an ETF is fully priced in, BitGo’s Steve Scott and AJ Nary opined that an ETF approval is unlikely to resolve the bigger regulatory picture in the US anytime soon.

Then, financial services company Matrixport projected a possible rejection of ETF applications in January, followed by co-founder Jihan Wu addressing that ETF report responsible for the market crash.

Meanwhile, Binance warned it may delist 10 prominent privacy cryptocurrencies due to increased regulatory attention, and Huobi Korea announced the shutdown of its services due to a challenging “business environment.”

Meanwhile meanwhile, Visa announced a Web3-based loyalty program for its customers, and the Japanese gaming giant Square Enix reaffirmed its plans to utilize blockchain, AI, and metaverse in creating novel content for consumers. In Kyrgyzstan, the water-rich environment has the potential to provide a necessary boost for the country’s crypto mining industry.

Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, India’s digital rupee hit 1 million daily transactions in December, and the ECB published a report detailing the advancements made by the digital euro scheme’s Rulebook Development Group.

In South Korea, Incheon confiscated $375,000 worth of crypto from “tax-evading” residents, and gaming firm WeMade got hit with a $41 million tax bill for its crypto-related activities. Also, Russian tax authorities will start collecting taxes in digital rubles from 2025.

In the we-can’t-play-nice news, hackers exploited Orbit Chain’s cross-chain bridging service for a staggering $82 million, and then they converted their gains into ETH, amassing an additional $1.45 million in unrealized profits. Notably, Match Systems found that the Orbit Chain hackers used the same tactics as those in several other high-profile attacks, suggesting it could be Lazarus.

In confusing news, the man introduced as the HyperVerse CEO appears not to exist.

Let’s laugh at some jokes now.

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GM, indeed. Welcome to a brand new year.

GM fellow rapidly repriced unregistered securities speculators pic.twitter.com/CxnvIhYxsp

— Cred (@CryptoCred) August 19, 2023

Yes. Use proper terms, please.

You know you’re here somewhere.

Sure, but that’s like a decade in crypto years. Time in crypto is volatile.

https://twitter.com/0xLawliette/status/1742564859894509988

Let’s check what the market’s up to.

Every fcking time. $BTC pic.twitter.com/5EZ4CqN1tp

— Blackbeard (@blackbeardXBT) December 30, 2023

‘I’m here, beeyashz!”

Everyone who bought crypto in 2023 arriving in 2024 pic.twitter.com/cl9ifG542k

— Gordon (@AltcoinGordon) January 3, 2024

Most certainly.

CT after the first #BTC dump of 2024 pic.twitter.com/eBmYTVTP2v

— Devchart 👨🏻‍💻 (@devchart) January 3, 2024

What say you, analysts?

when you sell all your ETH to buy SOL at $120pic.twitter.com/S6qVSN3QMI

— LilMoonLambo (@LilMoonLambo) December 27, 2023

Very NSFW. Or home. Generally public places. And private spaces.

$ETH https://t.co/U7aOgqzunG pic.twitter.com/eCRtmnzPJP

— krillin ॐ (@LSDinmycoffee) December 27, 2023

Lagging a tiny bit.

There’s always a third option.

How about Gary Gensler resign?

— REKTBuildr (@rektbuildr) December 26, 2023

Like, seriously, IDK, DYOR.

When your friend says “but idk tho DYOR” after shilling you a shitcoin for the last 1.5 hours pic.twitter.com/31tpK9bm7A

— Rhino (@lBattleRhino) October 25, 2023

Aaaand, discuss! As loudly as you’d like.

‘What is this sorcery? How do I delay it so it wouldn’t pump?’

Gensler watching crypto pump even despite repeatedly delaying the ETF and calling crypto a scam at every opportunity pic.twitter.com/FKJXItFZWM

— Cred (@CryptoCred) October 26, 2023

Dressed for the part.