Crypto Hamster Edges Out Warren Buffett, S&P 500

Source; mr_goxx, Twitch

In the cryptosphere, it’s not unusual for newcomer traders to outperform established financial industry players. But in this particular case, the newcomer is a hamster who has traded in crypto since last June, outperforming Warren Buffett’s holding company Berkshire Hathaway and the S&P 500 index, among others, over the short span of his career.

The rodent, whose name is Mr. Goxx, engages in crypto trading while running on a hamster wheel, as demonstrated by the livestreams on his Twitch account. The wheel doubles as a trading office, allowing Mr. Goxx to select certain assets. 

By entering one of the tunnels placed inside his cage, the tech-savvy hamster decides whether he wishes to buy or sell the selected asset. His decisions are then transmitted to a real trading platform through an application programming interface (API), according to the rodent’s owner. 

The trades are published on the hamster’s Twitter account set up by his human business partner, providing updates on Mr. Goxx’s trading activities since June 12.

“Mr. Goxx placed a sell order for 36.0 XRP at 29.24 EUR (-25.59 %),” reads one of the latest tweets.

Reflecting the hamster’s preference for working night shifts, the following tweet reads: “Mr. Goxx has concluded his office hours for tonight with 1 order(s) placed. Career Performance: +63.27 EUR (+19.41 %)”.

This result puts the hamster ahead of both Berkshire Hathaway and the S&P 500 index in the same period, raising questions over rodents’ potential superiority over humans in terms of their investment strategies.

In Berkshire Hathaway’s case, the stock’s value dropped from USD 430,282 on June 11 to USD 418,101 on September 24. For the S&P 500 index, the same period of time was more positive, as the index rose from 4,247.44 on June 11 to 4,455.48 on September 24. This expansion, however, still fell short of Mr. Goxx’s performance in the same period.

An analysis by Swiss asset manager Protos says Mr. Goxx embarked on his trading career with an equivalent of USD 390 in euros. The rodent trades in about 30 cryptoassets.

“Mr. Goxx is happy to see that some of his investments finally pay off,” the hamster’s human business partner told Protos. 

“Since Mr. Goxx is an honorable business rodent, he must calculate with about 35% tax being subtracted on all his returns, so there is still some work left before he can really talk about making money.”


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