Cryptonews Exclusives Dump & Miss Out, Close Banks, Take Down & Lay Off, and Laugh at 20 Crypto Jokes

Dump & Miss Out, Close Banks, Take Down & Lay Off, and Laugh at 20 Crypto Jokes

Sead Fadilpašić

Last updated: October 23, 2023 07:25 EDT | 3 min read

This crypto week: investors last week dumped a record amount of bitcoin and missed out on a rally, on-chain indicators screamed bitcoin bull market, Ethereum’s annualized deflation rate briefly surpassed 5%, Bitcoin added nearly 1 million non-zero addresses in under 1 month, USDC regained its $1 peg after US regulators assured that depositors in Silicon Valley Bank could access their money, an Argentinian bitcoiner claimed that BTC could one day surpass gold as a trading commodity, and Nomura predicted that the US Fed was done with interest rate hikes.

In banking news, US regulators closed Signature Bank two days after closing Silicon Valley Bank in a massive collapse affecting billions in deposits, HSBC acquired the UK subsidiary of Silicon Valley Bank for £1, NatWest imposed a monthly crypto exchange payment limit of $6,000, Anchorage Digital laid off 75 employees or roughly 20% of its workforce, and crypto companies were moving their money from banks to asset managers.

In exchange news, Binance halted UK deposits and withdrawals after Paysafe cut off support for GBP transactions, the US government demanded the Voyager-Binance.US’ $1 billion deal to be halted but was refused, Binance confirmed plans to convert $1 billion worth of BUSD to native cryptoassets, Coinbase proceeded with the planned suspension of BUSD trading, and Coinbase confirmed it had around $240 million in corporate cash balance with Signature Bank.

In regul-legisla-legal news, the UK will ramp up oversight of the crypto sector with separate reporting in tax forms, the US SEC Chair Gary Gensler reiterated that tokens using staking mechanisms could be considered securities, the US DoJ probed two major trading firms about plans for a potential bailout of TerraUSD, a Russian lawmaker called for crypto mining legalization as it would benefit both miners and the government, the US SEC charged an exiled Chinese business tycoon with crypto-related fraud, the US DoJ and Europol took down crypto mixer ChipMixer, and Spanish football clubs were suing crypto sponsors after sponsorship deals fell through.

In miscellaneous news, DeFiance Capital raised $100 million for its liquid token fund, and Cathie Wood’s Ark Investment raised more than $16 million for two new private crypto funds. South Korea said North Korea’s crypto hacking campaign might be impervious to international sanctions, Euler Finance fell victim to a flash loan attack resulting in $200 million stolen, and two top Brazilian professional football players claimed they had fallen foul of a crypto scam. Meta discontinued NFTs on Facebook and Instagram less than a year after launch, while El Salvador launched university courses in Bitcoin and Lightning Network development.

Time for some carefully selected jokes!

__________

Good morning, CT! How are you?

Some days feel like a psychological rollercoaster. I wouldn't have it any other way. pic.twitter.com/Mcg8BhEN7g
— Lex Fridman (@lexfridman) March 14, 2023

Let’s check up on BTC.

$25,212 resistance for $BTC pic.twitter.com/6qMx3n4WnY
— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) March 14, 2023

Godeffindarnit!

What are the experts saying?

Bears: "$12k Bitcoin is coming this time" pic.twitter.com/1yPmFDauAj
— Rager (@Rager) March 13, 2023

Atlas doing his thing.

Let’s see what the US was up to.

Looks like it’s about to get chilly again brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr pic.twitter.com/3jYVzIqiWR
— Robert ₿reedlove (@Breedlove22) March 13, 2023

TradFi went mad this week. Bonkers.

Jerome Powell leaving the office this week. pic.twitter.com/HNd3ixyLv7
— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) March 12, 2023

“Goddammed crypto!”

Why crypto. Why.

So well planned out.

Live look at the Fed injecting liquidity back into the system next week. pic.twitter.com/kZw6cZcpQL
— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) March 12, 2023

‘Whaaa…’

A new strategy.

shorting everyone on the cover of forbes from now on
— fiona (@bigsnugga) March 13, 2023

What a brilliant haiku!

i bought an NFT
which is down 80% in ETH
that ETH
is down 70% in USDC
that USDC
is down 10% in USD
that USD
is stuck in FTX bankruptcy
those claims
are down 80% pic.twitter.com/1Dwwc2NN10
— foobar (@0xfoobar) March 11, 2023

Somebody has a death wish.

Here’s this week’s topic for discussion. Discuss.

I’m not even mad at Louis, because I think a casino where I can use beanie babies would be awesome. https://t.co/lvY57ZvubA
— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) March 13, 2023

Satoshi’s already in position.

satoshi getting ready to cut the block reward in half pic.twitter.com/JOyasbCCbE
— The Crypto Dog 📈 (@TheCryptoDog) March 3, 2023

Basic kit?

Logging in to trade crypto dollars that aren’t actually dollars but might go back to being dollars maybe pic.twitter.com/E5IZ5aaDRy
— Cred (@CryptoCred) March 11, 2023

Rich vs free.

A lesson for the end.

if theres one thing to learn from all this its to fracture your money in 10 different places like Voldemort horcruxes pic.twitter.com/rVagyRGBB4
— moon (@MoonOverlord) March 12, 2023

Finally, a song. Happy weekend.