Cryptonews Features Bitcoin Did Something, Ethereum Got High and 20 Crypto Jokes

Bitcoin Did Something, Ethereum Got High and 20 Crypto Jokes

Sead Fadilpašić

Last updated: October 28, 2023 06:00 EDT | 3 min read

This week in cypto: BTC was poked, and it did do something. Robert Kiyosaki said that the next target for BTC is $135,000, and as the crypto markets experienced a broad rally, ETH prices reached a 2-month high. Meanwhile, JPMorgan Chase’s JPM Coin handled $1 billion worth of daily transactions, NFL Rivals game hit 3 million players as revenue was surging, and Worldcoin started paying the Orb device operators in WLD tokens instead of USDC.

Then, Aleo revealed its new decentralized digital identity solution that allows users to reveal only the necessary data, Nocturne raised $6 million from prominent players in the Ethereum ecosystem, including Vitalik Buterin, and former Israeli military intel personnel launched a new crypto firm Blockaid with $33 million in funding.

In FTX news, former CEO Sam Bankman-Fried was set to testify in court, and wallets linked to FTX and Alameda Research moved over $10 million to a single wallet address, which then deposited the funds to exchange deposit accounts.

On the other hand, Binance argued in the CFTC lawsuit that “the US law doesn’t control the world”, Coinbase challenged the US SEC’s broad definition of securities in a new court filing, the SEC charged BlackRock which agreed to a $2.5 million penalty for failing to accurately describe investments in the entertainment industry, and lawyers projected that Ripple would emerge as the winner in any future appeal by the SEC.

In the reguland, Mexican Senator Indira Kempis said that her Bitcoin bill was seeing more positive attention but was also facing increasing opposition, Europe may utilize the blockchain to fix bureaucracy as authorities suggested the use of “digital technologies,” Binance halted the Visa debit card service in Europe amid regulatory concerns, Solana-based Marinade Finance blocked the UK users from accessing its platform over “compliance concerns,” senior public officials in South Korea’s Gyeonggi province declared their crypto holdings, and Hong Kong’s financial regulators released new guidelines for intermediaries conducting virtual asset-related activities.

We reported that Circle will soon offer loyalty points to stablecoin conversion service in Taiwan, Thailand delayed the plan to distribute $15 billion in digital currency to its citizens, and Argentina’s far-right and pro-Bitcoin presidential candidate Javier Milei failed to clinch victory in the first round of voting.

We had more major news as recent reports suggesting that crypto played a significant role in terrorism funding were debunked by Elliptic. Meanwhile, over 1,000 police personnel were duped in a $240 million crypto scam in India, Hacken’s report found that rug pulls accounted for the majority of scams in Q3 as exploits wiped out $720 million, and the community feared a rug pull after Safereum had seen huge sums of liquidity drained, making off with around $1.3 million worth of funds.

And now, here are some carefully hand-selected jokes for your laughing pleasure.

____

Goood morning, all.

GM pic.twitter.com/gKp0TrESVu

— Devchart 👨🏻‍💻 (@devchart) October 21, 2023

So, how did this week go?

Beras this week and peeps that didnt buy 2023 dips be like… pic.twitter.com/mDw1R4Lskr

— xamanap (@xamanap) October 25, 2023

It went on and did something.

‘Dumbass.’

"I heard he sold his crypto at the bottom" pic.twitter.com/dSxaUay6Kb

— LilMoonLambo (@LilMoonLambo) October 24, 2023

This.

That feeling when your portfolio is going up but it's just regaining what you once had. pic.twitter.com/8st7D0LYRT

— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) October 23, 2023

….You had one job, brain.

It’s been 927 days…

Mental Health (MNH) to the moon!

There’s always someone who wants to ruin it for the rest of us.

For The Slurpers.

An analysis from an analyst analyzing where crypto is.

Crypto is now officially at the 1:09 minute mark of this video

Could not imagine being sidelined for the final 50 seconds 💥
pic.twitter.com/xenh5KsZLx

— @intern (@intern) October 23, 2023

Oopsie doopsie. He’s sorry.

BREAKING AND JUST IN! I got the EXCLUSIVE preview of SBF's testimony that NOBODY else is sharing. I am THE SOURCE for BREAKING NEWS AND INFORMATION so you can unfollow everyone else.

Are you ready? Here it is. pic.twitter.com/fQ4ALnlhaQ

— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker) October 25, 2023

The creature he could’ve been. If it weren’t for those meddling kids.