Binance CZing, Altman OpenAIing, Kraken SECing and 20 Crypto Jokes

Sead Fadilpašić
Last updated: | 4 min read

This week in crypto: a lot! This a lot included Binance, CZ, Sam Altman, OpenAI, Kraken, Coinbase, lawsuits, banks, hacks…

First up: Binance! What a week for the exchange. Prosecutors were pressing a federal judge to prevent former Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao from leaving the US before his scheduled sentencing hearing, and then, CZ was released on a $175 million personal recognizance bond after his guilty plea, and as part of the settlement with the US DOJ, CZ resigned from Binance which agreed to pay a hefty $4.3 billion in penalties. Binance wallets moved $3.9 billion worth of USDT ahead of the settlement, CZ was reportedly still worth $15 billion despite pleading guilty to federal money laundering charges, and former Head of Regional Markets Richard Teng took over as CEO.

Per one report, Binance’s total asset holdings remained stable after the DOJ settlement, another said the outflow was shifting towards Coinbase, JPMorgan said Binance’s settlement marked a positive development for the company and the broader cryptocurrency sector, Bernstein argued Binance will maintain its position as the dominant global exchange, and Brian Armstrong stated the settlement is a chance for the industry to prioritize rule clarity to prevent regulators from slamming huge fines on companies.

Meanwhile, AltmanGate continued and became only weirder. Top management of OpenAI was scrambling to “reunify” the organization following the dramatic ousting of the co-founder Sam Altman, and WLD jumped amid the news that Microsoft hired Altman and Greg Brockman. But then a twist! Altman will return back to run the company as the CEO under a new board.

The US regulators weren’t done, though. The SEC came after Kraken again, claiming securities law violations and internal control failures, Jesse Powell called the US regulators masochists attacking America and extortionists chasing crypto companies out of the country, and US Senator Cynthia Lummis slammed the SEC for its “ruling by enforcement” approach following the Kraken lawsuit. Meanwhile, Coinbase again called on the US justice system to persuade the SEC to provide clear regulatory guidelines on crypto assets.

In other legal news, the judge granted an extension to Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyers to submit their post-trial motions on December 1, Apple faced class action lawsuit over blocking P2P payments for crypto apps, Genesis Global Capital sued Gemini Trust in an attempt to reclaim over $689 million, the trial of the CEO of Bithumb’s parent company began in Seoul, Mt. Gox creditors were informed of a repayment plan beginning in 2023, and Steven Nerayoff’s attorney said they have ample evidence to back up the lawsuits against the US Government and private actors, some of which will implicate major players in Ethereum’s early days. Meanwhile, the director of “47 Ronin” took nearly $60 million that Netflix had given him for a sci-fi series to invest in crypto and stocks.

On the other hand, Austria’s Raiffeisen Bank is set to launch crypto trading services in 2024, Nubank added trading capabilities for five more altcoins to its banking app, Santander Private Banking International allowed its high-net-worth clients with Switzerland bank accounts to trade and hold BTC and ETH, the National Bank of Cambodia’ Bakong digital currency system teamed up with Alipay, Tencent and Huawei made strides in the Web3 space despite China’s stringent regulations on crypto trading, Easy Crypto and Labrys launched a new NZ dollar-pegged stablecoin, Alchemy Pay announced further expansion into the US market through the acquisition of a Money Services License in Iowa, and Lugano city integrated Polygon into its crypto-friendly payment MyLugano app. Meanwhile, BCB Group announced the departure of CEO Oliver von Landsberg-Sadie following the exits of two other executives.

In other relevant news, Ubisoft launched a new set of NFT avatars for the popular metaverse game The Sandbox, and Yield Guild Games co-founder said most successful Web3 games will move from P2E to free-to-play in 2024. Bitcoin’s hashrate was at an all-time high a few months away from the next halving, satellite images uncovered Bhutan’s undisclosed state-owned Bitcoin mining operations, and a Chinese power provider completed the first digital yuan smart contract transaction in the solar power industry.

Meanwhile, KPMG’s Canadian unit joined forces with Chainalysis to assist companies in battling crypto fraud, an organized criminal network was busted for gold smuggling and using USDT in its $16 million-worth illegal operations, Poloniex uncovered the identity of the hacker who stole over $100 million from its wallet offering a $10 million bounty for recovery, KyberSwap was compromised in a hack resulting in the theft of $48 million, and hackers targeted a critical vulnerability to infect Linux machines with the Kinsing malware and crypto miner.

Jokes time!

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GM, everybody!

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Be very careful what you say next.

Source: naiive / Twitter

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‘Have you heard about bitcoin?’

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Clear.

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‘I know you are holding twelve words under your floorboards. Tell me them.’

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This week in crypto: CZ.

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Touché.

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B’nahns.

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Just don’t. Stay safe.

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The InadvertentlyBustMan.

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Expert analysts at work.

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All the money. Me need. Now.

 

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Precise.

Source: Hsaka / Twitter

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Who’s next?

Source: Mayne / Twitter

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Has all the essentials.

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Aaand discuss.

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It’s been a while since they were out.

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It’s the law. Another one that SBF broke.

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This just in:

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And for the end, live footage of Sam Altman returning to OpenAi.